Friday, July 18, 2008

Ranch weekend and Charlie walking

I can't believe my sweet baby boy is walking at 10 months old. For some kids this maybe a normal time to start walking but I was use to Abby who at 10 months was just starting to crawl and didn't start walking till 15 months. I guess the saying is true, very kid is different. It's so fun to watch him. He is so excited and we all cheer him on. I also can't believe that I have to start thinking about his birthday soon. Man, has this last year flown by.
On another note, we had such a good time at the ranch with my family. It was a great time to get together and remember Michael. Every time I was out on the four wheeler, all I could think about was how much he would of loved it out here. We also celebrated my sister Cayce's birthday. Her birthday isn't till next month, a day before mine, but she is leaving for boot camp the first of August. Yes you read it right my sister Cayce is joining the US Coast Guard. I couldn't be more proud. She is having to leave her son, who is Charlie's age, for 2 months. She is stronger than me. I couldn't do it. She knows this will better her family and that God has lead her to do this. Please pray that she has the mental and physical strength to get through it. We had so much fun watching her son, Isaac and Charlie play together. Abby also enjoyed having to boys to boss around. She was really sweet and made sure both were feed. I have to watch her closely when she's eating something because she gives Charlie a bit. I caught her giving him peanuts the other day. At least we know he isn't allergic to peanuts now. It's sweet that she shares and it's hard to tell her that she has to share some things but not others. Some how I'm sure Charlie will survive. At least now he can walk away from her.

Sunday, July 06, 2008


This Thurs., the 10th, it will have been a year since Michael took his life. The pain is still so fresh but I know he is at peace and finally happy. I'm so blessed to have had him in my life for 26 years and can't wait to see him again in Heaven. Michael, you will always have a special place in my heart and my love for you is still so very strong. I promise to never forget all the wonderful memories we had together and all the fun we had as kids. You lived through so very much and I've learned so much from you and your life. I'm just so sad that my kids won't know their Uncle Michael until they too see you in heaven. God is so good and I know that you are with him. I love you and miss you. My life will never be the same without you here.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008


I know it's been forever since I've updated but these two little ones keep me running. Things have been going good. We're potty training Abby which is a day to day challenge. Some days she's great and others I just give up and put her in a pull up. Charlie took his first steps last week. He laughed the whole time. He was so excited and we were so proud. Abby cheered him on the whole time. I was glad that Chaz was home and we were able to get it on tape. I can't believe he will be 10 months old on Thurs. It brakes my heart that I have to start thinking about his one year birthday already. We've been busy going to the pool all summer. I just love our community pool. It's not just a pool but a water park. We just finished swimming lessons with Abby and she did pretty good. She's now jumping in and swimming to the side.
One another note, next week is going to be a hard one. The 10th of July will be a year since Michael died. I've already had some bad days recently and I know next week will be hard. I'm hoping to spend some time with my mom and sisters next week so we can lean on each other. I can't believe that it's been a year already. I can remember every detail of that day. I am starting a support group on the 13th of July. It's for family survivors of suicide and I think it will be good for me. I'm not at all excited about going but I know it's time to deal with it. I miss him so very much but know that he is finally happy and at peace. I just pray he knows how much we miss him and much he was loved. I know that God has His arms around him and that one day I will too. Michael, you are so truly missed!!
I found out some shocking news about my sister, Cayce. She joined the US Coast Guard and starts boot camp in August. I can't believe she is really doing it. I'm also so very proud of her. She has a lot of strength to leave her 10 month old son and go to this. She feels that God has showed her that this is to better her and her family. I just pray that He continues to give her strength and protection. Anyway that's it for now.